TAY, let's talk about life shit. Why? Reasons. I'll tell you about my situation in a sec, but I think we can all help each other. I mean... Life sucks. Most of us have no idea why we exist in the first place, we work jobs we hate to buy things we don't need... There's lots of reasons to be a cynical cinnamon. But we're all alive, and we have to have a very human need to talk things out when we're stuck in our heads.
I almost had a very shitty night. I was driving to Michigan on unsafe roads, and I felt my car beginning to spin out. Luckily, it didn't get any worse than that (I have spun out before, and it's fucking terrifying), but I immediately went into nope mode and got off at the next exit and sat at a gas station for about an hour before collecting myself. I decided to call my boss, tell him there's no way in hell I'm risking my safety, and I checked into a hotel in Kitchener.
So here I am, post-panic attack, wondering what the fuck it's all for. I wanted a job so I could buy nice things, but they keep sending me to the asshole of America to stay in a shitty motel. The money is good, but I don't get to enjoy much of what I buy with it. So I started thinking, like... What's the fucking point of anything? Why am I even alive?
I came to the conclusion that I hate my programming job. Mind you, I don't hate programming, but I hate JUST programming. I discovered while building a new gaming shelf, and LARP gear, and Gundam models, that I really enjoy working with my hands. So I bought a Haynes manual for my new car, which basically gives you the information to tear it down to the chassis and build it back up again, and I've made a personal vow to start working my career towards something I'll get gratification out of. I want to be a maintenance guy. Someone who can handle mechanical, electrical and programming stuff.
So now I lay here in a motel bed, wide awake, literally feeling like a new person. And I just... I dunno. I want to share this, in hopes that someone else gets a similar epiphany. Almost getting in a bad accident kinda woke me up. I was dreading the future and hating life, but now... Not so much. I give a fuck now.
So TAY, what's your story? What bullshit are you working through? Tell us what's going on, maybe getting it out will help you find a solution.