Ever have one of those "lazy" weekends? You know, the ones when you don't have plans, no one is calling to hang out and you have the option of sitting on your keister and enjoying the inactivity? I DID!
As the wife and I had no plans, I decided to blow a weekend on bad movies on Netflix and played Pokemon Y, with some small breaks to hang with my wife and watch Walking Dead with some pals. As it was just after Halloween, I thought I’d focus on some iffy horror movies and documentaries for some extra fun. I put in the blood, sweat and inactivity to watch these flicks, and YOU reap the benefit!
Today, I provide you fine TAY'rs with some one or two-line reviews of the movies I put myself through. They're a real mix – some good, some not too bad and a few "Oh, my GLOB! Why did I watch that!" films, but all were enjoyable to some degree. I will also make a brief comment on the Pokemon activity done while watching, if I can remember it clearly through the fog of questionable film, BBQ pork rinds and iced coffee.
Assassination Games: Two assassins forced to work together to mutual benefit and sad action-movie failure. JCVD and some other guy trade glowering stares, punches and some really badly choreographed fights. Pokemon Y: Grinded Route 13 Pokemon to capture and Wonder Trade. Lots of Digtrios!
Ghoulies: The son of a cult leader inherits a home and the dark secrets within. Puppet imps, some douche-y friends and a thrilling magical stare-fight make this a must-see! Pokemon Y: Leveled up some side-board Pokemon and cleared the Power Plant.
Ghoulies II: Puppet imps find their way aboard a travelling carnival, and mayhem erupts. Special shout-out to GIANT puppet imp – you da’ man! Pokemon Y: Got Prism Tower lit and explored Lumiose City a little.
Troll: Strange family moves to apartment building under the thumb of a wizard-turned-troll, meets zany neighbors and June Lockhart! Lots of stop-motion magic and a really demented air-guitar scene. Pokemon Y: More exploration of Lumiose City, and some Wonder Trades
Troll II: NOTHING to do with Troll; family goes on vacation to goblin—land and tries to keep from being turned into vegetarian goblin food. Everything’s bad, but the movie has heart and a popcorn "sex" scene. Pokemon Y: Beat the Lumiose City Gym and did some HM training.
Best Worst Movie: Documentary on Troll 2, directed and produced by the guy who played the young son in Troll 2. Fascinating look into the process of low-budget movie making if not a little repetitive toward the end. Pokemon Y: Putzed around on Route 14 a little – was too wrapped up in the movie to make much progress.
Pumpkinhead: Hillbilly dad loses son to reckless teens, summons hellspawn, revenge ensues. Lance Hendrikson makes this watchable and creature effects are better than the acting. Pokemon Y: Super serial Pokemon catching and leveling on Route 14. GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, LOSERMLW!
Pumpkinhead II: Pumpkinhead returns and Garak from Deep Space Nine plays the sheriff trying to make sense of it all while Punky Brewster runs and swears. Tries WAY too hard to give you feels for ol’ Punkin. Pokemon Y: More training on Route 14 and entered Laverre City, then got a bunch of free stuff.
The Innkeepers: A suspenseful film with a small cast, focused on the two staff members working the whole final weekend of “The Yankee Pedler”. Great use of audio and solid performances all around. Pokemon Y: Got lost in the Laverre City Gym, due to being too into the film. Beat the Laverre City Gym once I got my head straight.
The American Scream: Documentary about three “home haunters” in Fairhaven, MA that set up backyard haunted walks/houses. Quaint and interesting look into the world of “haunts”. Pokemon Y: Some Pokedex filling, spent most of the time checking out my Boxes and sorting.
The Prophecy: Did you know there was not one, but TWO angelic conflicts and they need a human soul because we’re SO good at war? Christopher Walken chews up scenery and Viggo Mortensen plays a WONDERFULLY bad Lucifer! Plus, Casey Jones from the original Turtles movie! Pokemon Y: Poke Ball Factory goodness and some Route 15 hunting.
The Prophecy II: Apparently, even Hell doesn’t want Christopher Walken! More scene chewing, a focus on angel/human babies and an appearance by Eric Roberts as Michael, the Archangel. Pokemon Y: More Route 15 hunting and the Lost Hotel, with a quick pop into Dendemill Town.
Well, that's it, kids. Not until I actually looked at my Netflix queue to see what I had watched did I realize both the depth and the scope of how much time I wasted on my lazy weekend. I'm kind of proud, but also a little disappointed in myself. But, if you guys liked it, I'm happy to sacrifice my mind and body to keep TAY happy!