Ten points for the TAY’er who can take this bad piece of Dunglish* and make it proper English

So last time, I bought a cat in the bag,

So I went back to the cookiebakers and said: hey you uplighter, you said this was an outsticking product, but look at this rotting mess.

So this underclub answered me: You have to talk to the chef, I just work here.

Then the steam came from my ears. I was red glowing. It will rust on my iron behind, you give me my back back. It was in the deed a hundred euros.

So this chef walked to me and said, wat may it be?

In the end, i had looked cross eyed and it was a storm in a glass of water. But I will not return to that grave branche stuff ever again.

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*dunglish stands for Dutch English, it’s what you get when a Dutchman just learns English words but uses dutch expressions and words in English, See famous football coach Louis van Gaal for some fine examples (he’s serious).