Movies, they have a start and a middle and an end. But upside down, do they still work this way? Inquiring minds demanded answers.

The Godfather Trilogy

Seeing the movie upside down doesn’t change that once Fredo’s gone the films are over for me. I wish there was a Fredo movie. Hell a Fredo trilogy. I’m giving The Godfather Trilogy a 4. Also the thrid movie is still not good.

Jaws

Finally, a film I really expected would shine. Would the shark chase the men or would the men chase the shark? Well, turning your monitor upside down does not have that sort of effect at all. It’s still Jaws. I was really hoping watching it upside down would make the movie be about a wild man fucking up shark society.

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I rate upside-down Jaws a 3. It’s still a good movie but I was really getting tired of this experiment. But science demands answers.

Pulp Fiction

I tried something different this time and just flipped myself upside down. I remember doing it as a kid. The thing is I must weigh like 5 times as much as I did back then. So I came up with something new.

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Noitcif Plup

Pulp Fiction in the mirror. Now this was something. Maybe the story would make more sense this time. I really tried watching the movie, but I’ve seen it like 9 times or something. So my rating for Pulp Fiction in a mirror, and with about a 45 minute nap in the middle, is about a 12. I mean the movie was as good as ever, but that nap was really something.

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Scarface

Upside down, but also fast-forwarding the whole time while listening to Dark Side of the Moon. This wasn’t the best plan. I really thought the movie would sync with the album but no luck. However the album is really good, and Scarface is pretty great. The first thing you really have to understand about Scarface while fast-forwarding is that the film goes by quite quickly. When combined with a viewing in the upside-down format you really get a sense of what the film makers were going for, faster though, and upside-down. With a 70’s rock album playing overhead. I rate it a 7 and a half.

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Highlander

As seen through a window. Now normally when you think of a film you imagine it as sound and image. Now muffle the sound and put the image on the other side of your window. This is precisely what the makers of Highlander expected, I’m now sure. It’s a really cold movie, and I really got in touch with that outside in the cold. Highlander gets an 8 and a 3 but there can be only one so an 11 I guess.

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Forest Gump

Nothing helps. Remember people thought this was a really good movie? I mean it’s not terrible, but time has not been kind to this movie and no watching of it upside down or inside out helps. I’m giving it a score of 21.

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Oz the Grand Conquistador

Sucks. I decided to watch this movie and all I can say is don’t. It stars James Van der Beek as the Oz from the Wizard of Oz and the girl from that 70’s show who still does movies. All I could think as I watched the movie was I wished I was watching Westworld. Why don’t we get movies like that any more? Oz the great and powerful gets a 5 out of 5. Hollywood stop remaking Army of Darkness and get back to making movies about killer robots.

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Conclusion

Obviously the only way to watch a movie is with 3D glasses on. Maybe in some sort of tube with a high quality speaker set up. Oh and partially submerged in water so you lose the sensation of gravity and exist just you, the movie, and the movie tube. Slowly all sensations not related to the movie disappear. You, were you a man, a woman, a child? You know not any more what you were before the movie tube. It’s just Donnie Darko from here on out. Are you a soul, a mind? A body? The film plays on repeat, forever and ever. Was there ever a “you” before or did you come into existence with the film? No, you are the film.

That’s probably the right way to watch a movie.