The post entitled ‘I Am Not Bored’ is a lie. I Am Board. This is also a lie.

One day I woke up, perhaps it was a Tuesday? In any case I woke up that Tuesday and went to eat breakfast. I like the word breakfast, how literal it is. The meal where you ‘break’ your ‘fasting’. such a good word.

Anyway I went to get some cereal. WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I don’t like cereal. At some point I did, as I recall, maybe it been on Monday. I liked waffles that fine Wednesday morning. So I ate them. They were fairly gross. I squelted them later. Squelt is not a word. But you knew that, didn’t you, you, you... Who ARE you?


careful you’ll mess up the carpet! I juzt cleaned it. That waz a typo but now I’m gonna roll with thoze zzz from now on.

Maybe it wasn’t a Tuesday. Maybe it was a Monday...

After I finished beating my toast to pulp so it would fit in the juice I walked out to my car. But my car keys had been stolen by my invisible roommate who eats things from my fridge. So I walked to my car instead of driving.


Everything was dark. Cold. The only thing I could hear was some water dripping from some unknown place. Drip. Drip. Drip. Then I blacked out. Well as much as one can black out when everything is already pitch dark.

I forgot what I was talking about. Maybe you’d like some to buy a new butt they are very in style right now so smooth and long and if you knew what you are missing you will say yes and be as amazing a cool as this super special awesome run-on sentence. I’m so very butt.

Butt mean awesome. Except when it doesn’t.

We can be butt friends. That one of the except when it doesn’ts.

Now the question remains - What accent did you read this in?


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