Keeping in line with the recent comparison of how freerunning with a bow suddenly makes people better at archery than their skilled counterparts, I have decided that the only logical juxtaposition one can make in retort is how real animals can beat the living shit out of Pokemon.


Real animals don't mess around. They see their prey and wait; skulking in the shadows hunkering down for the prime opportunity to strike. Once that opportunity reveals itself, so does the predator, with all the primal rage a beast of the wild can muster. It doesn't do so with imaginary lightning bolts or a powerful jet-stream of water, but with fangs and teeth — things that actually kill, rather than make something faint and disappear into their spherical-fortress of who gives a damn.

Pokemon aren't real animals. For all their flashy abilities and their powers, they don't have the mettle to kill, as is required in the wild. Being in the wilderness, fighting among the lions, tigers and bears (oh my), they would most likely find all their cuddliness in a pile of fecal matter after being torn asunder and digested. Or, they would if they weren't dead.

This is just like how freerunners, who flail around whilst shooting a bow at nothing, aren't really archers, and to say otherwise does a disservice to those actually skilled in the use of the weapon.


Anyway, I digress.

I think this was a good write-up. But, hell, I doubt anyone else will agree. I didn't do five front flips and a cartwheel wheel while typing this up.