I was born in my house on Mars. I will die in my house on Mars.

Last week’s Static.

Tim Sweeny said that if Steam matches their revenue model than they’ll stop buying up exclusives. I guess this is what they meant by “eventually.” The response from the general public was predictably one of distrust. But let’s face facts, with EGS fluttering about, this was something Steam was gonna have to address sooner or later. If they do it, Epic will have to keep their word.

Mortal Kombat 11 proves once again that the SJW abyss is staring back. What we really should be concerned about is the microtransaction concerns. But there are three other “issues” that some people are hung up about. 1. Breasts. 2. The word “woke” being mentioned. 3. A reference to the 2016 Donald Trump presidential campaign slogan.

There are entire YouTube channels dedicated to being upset. Just to being pissed, to being absolutely beside themselves with anger. “What happened? What do you mean no swastikas? This is an outrage!” Just breath, homie. Calm down. Stress is not good for you. All this with MK11, It’s not as serious as you think. But Polygon really needs to calm down too. They’re becoming way too predictable now.

Battletech: Urban Warfare trailer is here and I am excited. I’ve been wanting to make videos about this game for a while now. It just isn’t what my audience is used to, so I’m kinda worried about the reception. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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I recorded another Deus Ex podcast with my brother, but even though it’s impossible to avoid talking about politics with Deus Ex, there was a lot of political discussion in this one. I can make a video but the pod may need some heavy editing. We might even redo it. One thing I know, I can’t just put it up uncut. For fiddlesticks sake, Mortal Kombat REFERENCED the 2016 Donald Trump campaign, and this was the reaction:

It turned out that saying “woke” and making a Trump reference was their weakness the whole time

Good guy Ubisoft was giving away free copies of Assassin’s Creed Unity. Due to their donation of 500,000 euros towards the Notre Dame reconstruction, people started review bombing the game on steam with positive reviews. “Turned it around on you, frenchy!” Steam removes negative review bombs because they’re unrelated to the game. I’m curious to see what their response is gonna be this time.

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Things got crabby last week at the Smash Melee tournament of Pound 2019. Mang0 was playing his ass off. He even beat Hungrybox for the first time in a while. But Hungrybox came back in the Grand finals, reset the bracket, and won. I was about to roll over and go to sleep when someone threw a fiddlesticking crab at him. Twitter lit up with pictures of the crab, and eventually this guy uploaded some zapruder type footage of the incident. They eventually found him, and made an example out of him. Yeah yeah yeah, I know people don’t like Hungrybox because he plays Jigglypuff. But I’m not too worried about it. I certainly don’t care enough to throw shellfish at the man.

*A hat drops to the ground* People: I’M FUCKIN’ PIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED!!!”

Papito Qinn is into the whole YouTube thing, is the winner of the 2016 SpookTAYcular Scary Story Contest, and a twitter incompetent. “Calm the bitch ass down.