I'm really feeling it!
I'm really feeling it!
Illustration for article titled Tabletop TuesTAY: Grog Mandino: Electronic Society Problem

Grog Mandino is a half-orc self-help guru. He almost has several degrees from various adventuring schools around the world, but is not a licensed therapist. He says his advice comes from "the streets, and also the sidewalks" of life, not from hard-to-read textbooks. He is the author of several books, most recently, "Say Yes To It (It Am Life)," which New York Times book reviewer Michiko Kakutani called "a book"... "that has"... "words in it." His advice has only ever gotten three people killed (excluding adventuring party members).

Hello, everyone! This am Grog. Am excite to be here among folk who maybe understand what Grog am talking about. Problem with speak about Grog own life experience am that it am difficult for "common man" to understand sometime where Grog am coming from. Hope all you folk are ready for adventure into peace and understanding!

Dear Grog:

I was very comfortable in an online community and had made a lot of friends. After the site went through some changes, there was a wave of new users and I feel like I got pushed to the side because I'm more shy and anxious than others. How can I feel at home again without being untrue to my personality?


Grog know how you feel. Grog am part of online orc community call Orcspace. It get very aggressive sometime. Also lot of caps lock, hurt Grog eye. Grog am like, hey, Grog see what you type, no have to yell. Orcspace grow and grow as more village get internet or magical equivalent. It get harder and harder to find place for Grog on site. Grog know Orcspace full of orc with same feeling, same view of world, but no can always connect because Grog not force he self on other orc, so most of time Grog lurk, look at thread full of picture of personal meat pile from younger, childless orc they copy and paste from instagram. Sometime look at argument in thread on social justice for orc, about whether it ever okay hu-man wear green face. Argument am go on for six month, people still no get tired of call each other name, threaten to throw each other in village doody trench.

So many orc, and they all have big opinion. Grog work better in setting like this, where can form thought and post lot of word at once without other people yell at Grog. Just like Grog work best at quiet gathering, not big party. Same with adventuring. Work best with smart wizard and maybe hu-man rogue, not giant party full of everyone climb over each other to loot body of enemy after battle. That just not Grog way. To some extent Grog realize maybe am not just cut out for the way Orcspace am now, try make peace with it. If you pair of shoe, let say, change into orange juice, you no can try to make orange juice fit on feet. Shoe and orange juice no can serve same purpose. Am not even same state of matter.

But Grog tell you story maybe give you some hope. Am little-known fact that Grog collect Precious Moment figurine. Try to join forum for Precious Moment collector, post picture of Grog collection. Everyone get mad at Grog just because he paint he figure green! What am point of memorialize first day of school or how fun splash in puddle or accidentally spill paint on dog while paint picture of Jesus if no can personalize it? Grog get sad for few day, then see he get message from cyclop name Deedee. It have picture of she collection; she mark out one eye from all figure. Look good! Like happy village of Christian cyclop. We now good friend. Sometime be out of place help you find good friend who feel same way. Be on look out.

Grog Mandino is a half-orc self-help guru. He can be found on his site Say Yes To It (It Am Life) or on Facebook. You can send him your questions there, or email him at grogmandino@gmail.com.

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