Us short guys are apparently expected to "compensate" for our height in different ways. Some buy themselves a Hummer. Others may purchase a magnum revolver with a 12" barrel. Me, I buy myself big meals. It's been a tough day, I was starving, and I figured my cardiovascular system needs a nice shock. I didn't feel like driving to Five Guys today, so instead I settled for Wendy's premiere burger, a triple beef patty monstrosity. So, how was it?

Hehe, forgot to get rid of that annoying date note again. Oh well. It shows how much I use my camera, so don't get the idea that I'm some poser hipster who often takes pics of his food.

U.S. law states that you have to order the large fries with this combo, and well, I'm a law-abiding citizen, so why not? I got a medium drink though, since I don't really drink much soda in general, and don't expect to finish it anyways. It's honestly just there to help wash down the nearly 1Lb cow chunk I'm about to gorge on. I guess I could've made some of my special prize-winning lemonade (And I plan to share the recipe on here, since it's pretty damn good, if I do say so myself ^^) but what the hell, right? Those extra empty calories won't do any damage, anyway. Anyways, the fries are good, I guess. They were actually so fresh, I burned my mouth. Like, fourth degree burns. I'm almost pretty sure that's lethal. But anyways, I apparently didn't have any ketchup left in the fridge. Oh well, there's always mayonnaise. . . . .what? Never had fries with mayonnaise? They're good. Try 'em.

Now onto the actual burger. First, a moment of silence for the deceased cows who were sacrificed in order to provide this marvelous and gran- What the hell, Wendy's!?!? That's not at all how it looks on the promotional image! Just once I would love to see a fast food burger look like the featured product, is that asking too much??? So, how does it taste? Well, it tastes pretty good so far. It's very- GODDAMN! THERE'S PICKLES ON THE THING! Jesus. If I remember correctly, Wendy's never threw in surprise pickles on their burgers. That's part of what I liked about the place. . . . . Yea, I never outgrew that whole pickle thing, alright? See, this is why I like Five Guys more, because you explicitly tell them what you want, and receive what you asked for. But eh, that's what I get for not driving the extra ten minutes. And, I need to stop comparing the place to Five Guys, huh? It's not fair, really. Perhaps In-N-Out is more fitting, right? Oh yea, back to the burger. The bun is honestly, tasteless. It's just too drab. I want to be able to notice it too. Ever had Fat Burger? That place has the most amazing bread! I swear, you don't even notice the bacon when eating it. That says something, you know? Hehe, I digress again. The meat is ok. Too much mayonnaise to appreciate it though. I swear, they just squirt the condiment bottles at the patty without any consideration to the consumer. Now that I think about it, the service was pretty shoddy too. The clerk was this one dude who, I shit you not, looks exactly like the stereotypical teen part-timer at a fast food place. His voice even cracked, despite looking like he was in his mid 20s. I'm probably younger than the punk, and my voice doesn't do that.


So, in general, what are my thoughts over the meal? Well, if you definitely have the time and access to better burgers, definitely skip it. But if you just want something to eat ASAP, and feel like you want to test out your arteries, then why not? Am I full? Not really. I wish I ordered a large vanilla Frosty, since all I have here are three Oreo cookies. But I do feel slightly . . . . . I think encumbered is the word. Ever had a large salad, or a 3 consecutive bowls of cereal? You don't really feel heavy after that, despite having feasted on a lot. Yea, that's not how I feel right now. But eh, no regrets. I'm sure I'll feel all spazzy and agile in half an hour. I'm not sure if I should love or hate my metabolism, because by then, I'll be starving again. . . . . .