It's about my blog, and I'm beginning to worry.
So I have this blog on WordPress. It's called Radical Helmet, and it has basically almost every major post I've written since I showed up on TAY, including things I'm writing now. But I'm starting to realize that I may not have much of an audience on WordPress (that is, the kind of people who I would like to read my writing) and that I'd maybe be best off on Tumblr. So the natural thing to do would be to pack up and move my blog.
But the thing is, a few people seem to have already found me and, in some cases, even started following me (7 followers so far.) I'll admit that most of the people who find my blog probably weren't looking for my blog or anything like it (I've gotten some strange search terms coming in,) and the people who are following me seem to have been looking for something else as well, looking suspiciously out of place, but if there are a few people who know my blog, I don't want to lose them. I don't want to desert them and start all over before I've gotten enough traffic that people will actually be able to find me when I leave. But if I don't leave, I may never get that far.
And then...and here's the hard part...I'm not even sure I'm ready for Tumblr. I mean, I'm not sure I'm ready for the community of people there that write about games. This was my intended audience from the beginning, and I was intending to start out on Tumblr, but...look at them. They're all so smart, and subversive and edgy. And I'm so...ugh.
That's the reason why I'm finding it so hard to think of something new to say. I don't think I'm smart enough to comment on the big questions, the ethical conundrums that make the gaming world turn behind the scenes. You know what they are (and I don't even feel like I have the authority to talk about it.) I want to, but most major issues are either outside of my range of knowledge or, frankly, none of my business. Discussions like these belong to the counter-culture, and I am NOT counter-culture. I'm a square. No, I'm even worse than that. Squares are too edgy for me. I'm a square with rounded corners. I'm a fucking rounded rectangle.
Point is, there's no way I could ever fit in with the big kids.
But I have to; I'd be an awful waste if I didn't. I have a responsibility to my medium! And these are discussions worth having! I want to reach down into want little brain mass I have and pull up something that'll make a difference. And...and...
...Yikes. This is starting to sound less like a bid for advice and more like a personal crisis. But the question still stands:
Please be honest. I don't need to be told I'm not a square, or dumb or any of the things I said I was. I just need an answer.