Months ago I published a Fallout: New Vegas video on YouTube entitled “Teddy Bear Sex”. Despite having played the game extensively in the past, I encountered something afterwards that made me realize that there was much more to the story.

The video featured a prostitute called ‘Sweety’ tell a story about a regular customer called ‘Saint James’. When Saint James hires her for her services, he likes to have a particular teddy bear set up to make it seem like its watching.

At the time I thought: “well, that’s messed up. I might as well make a video out of it, and not add any music. Just the sound of women screaming that you hear while you’re there. That particular video received a significantly higher amount of views than my fallout videos usually get. Pure coincidence, I’m sure.

Teddy Bear Sex

While I was playing the game for more content to record, I spoke to one Captain Parker at the Aerotech Office Park, west of Camp McCarran. The compound was being used a refugee camp, and he informed me that a series of people have gone missing. Including a shy little girl who always had a teddy bear with her. This initiates the quest: “The Coyotes”.

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The quest has you travel to Freeside, where you speak to Saint James and his partner, Dermot. These two have always been assholes. But I never knew how shitty these particular assholes are.

After revealing that he had something to do with the disappearances, like the moron he is, you break into their rooms at the Casa Madrid. In Saint James’ room, you find the Teddy bear on his bed. And in Dermot’s room you find a ledger.

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The Ledger reads:

Going to be a little different than the one I kept for hauling scrap ha ha. But I’ve always been a strong believer in keeping straight books.

Dermot actually took the time to write “ha ha” in his own ledger, to himself. Who does that? But he’s a man who likes to keep things neat and organized in a ledger. Nothing wrong with that. It continues:

TO MOTOR RUNNER:
Teen girl - 500 caps
Adult man, 38 - 0 caps

True to his word paid top money for the girl. Plus bonus for first delivery. But paid nothing for girls father who took a swing at him when untied. Got to keep em more secured. Also keep SJ off the girls as even fiends dont want used goods.

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Motor Runner is the leader of the fiends. A gang of violent junkies who went into Vault 3, and killed everyone in there so they could have a safe place to get high. Motor Runner is very dead now. But it’s obvious now that these two were kidnapping and selling people as slaves to Motor Runner. More:

TO MOTOR RUNNER:
Adult woman (28) - 250 caps
Old woman - 25 caps
Old man - 25 caps
Baby (boy?) - 0 caps

Got to be more careful selecting what we deliver. Runner liked the woman of course but the babys worthless except to make sure the woman does as shes told. Her parents next to worthless. Shouldve killed and left them. On the bright side Runner says we can start dealing with fiends closer by so no more dragging folks all the way to vault three.

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I wonder why the baby’s gender was in question. I guess they just never bothered to check. Either that, or for slavers these guys are ‘woke af’ as the kids would say. Regardless, Dermor basically said: “A baby is going to be used as a hostage to keep its mother a docile slave, but it was a real drag bringing these seniors all the way here. We barely got anything selling them into slavery. On the bright side, we don’t have to go all the way to the vault anymore. So it all works out!”

TO NEPHI:
Teen girl - 400 caps
Teen boy - 150 caps
Child girl (7?) - 50 caps

More like it. Learned from past and got rid of mom and dad along the way. Tried to get more for the young one I said hey give her time to sprout. But Nephi wouldn’t have it. Kept SJ (Saint James) off the girls so long as he got his damn teddy. Hes a sick one but I guess the work calls for it.

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Driver Nephi is another, very dead, ex leader of the fiends. Based on the way this is written, we can surmise that Dermot had to give Saint James the teddy bear. That was the only way he could prevent the rape of two under aged girls. The teddy bear that belonged to a 7 year old girl. The same teddy bear that he pretends watches him when he’s with prostitutes he paid using money he earned from selling people, including children, into slavery.

I can’t even begin to fathom what could be going through his mind that moment. The satisfaction he derives from having that specific teddy bear watch him is something I, thankfully, will never understand.

At first I was confused by the phrase: “Nephi wouldn’t have it.” when it came to the little girl. She still paid 50 caps for her. But I realized that the girl is mostly likely dead. Driver Nephi was the owner of an entire pack of pet dogs. It’s safe to assume that the child was fed to them.

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And lastly:

TO COOK COOK (Well known rapist, also dead):
Adult woman - 200 caps
Teen girl - 400 caps
Teen girl - 400 caps
Teen boy - 100 caps

Did not like dealing with this cook cook. Didn’t know if hed pay us or burn us. I guess what they do with them once they got them is up to them isnt my business but he didn’t even wait for us to turn the corner before he was torching the boy and making the womenfolk watch. Lets hope to deal with Nephi next time.

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So the only reason he bought the boy, was to burn him alive and make the females watch. Paying 100 caps for him no less. Ladies and gentlemen, this is some heavy shit.

If you confront Dermot and Saint James with this evidence, they turn hostile. Once they’re dead, the people who knew them are generally quite happy about it.

As I mentioned, all their buyers are dead, but I wonder if Caesar’s Legion would do business with them. They’re profligates after all. But The Legion does do business with regular traders, so it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.

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Despite being about a post nuclear apocalypse world, Fallout has this reputation of treating the setting with a hefty dose of dark humor and silly things. At least when it’s made by the people who created it. Black Isle Studios and later Obsidian Entertainment.

You have things like talking stone heads, immortal brains, and a tongueless super mutant called, meansonofabitch. It’s like a corrupted fairy tale. Silly things on the surface, but once you dig a little deeper and read between the lines a little bit it gets dark. Not dark humor, just regular dark.

I love Chris Avellone, I think he might very well be the best writer the video game industry has right now. But I wonder if he performs some kind of ritual in order to write these darker scenes. Does he have to get into a certain mind set? I just hope he’s not huffing Jenkem.

Yep, it’s another one of these.

Papito Qinn is into the whole YouTube thing, is the winner of the 2016 SpookTAYcular Scary Story Contest, and atwitter incompetent. “This is some heavy shit, homie.”