Blade & Soul is an action-focused MMORPG. I think. I haven’t really gotten far into it. I’m too busy making abominations with the character creator.

Blade & Soul’s character creation is very.... let’s say “specific” in how it wants you to create characters. It’s pretty good at making fit dudes.

You can make busty babes pretty easily.

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There’s even a race so you can make little chibi animal kids. Because that’s a thing, I guess?

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It’s all very anime. But what if we dialed the anime up to eleven?

SWEET MERCIFUL MOSES! What is that thing? Blade & Soul has a pretty robust character creation tool for an MMO. It reminds me of games like The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. And like Oblvion’s character creator, it’s really easy to make really ridiculous characters.

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There’s a number of sliders that can be moved independently of each other. Ever want a skinny man with very VERY well defined calves? It’s possible in Blade & Soul. Want a gal with a stupidly big torso and tiny arms and legs? You can do that. Want a lanky man with jet black eyes who looks like some kind of fabulous demon?

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But these are all things Blade & Soul clearly doesn’t want you to do. Hell, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Beautiful up above doesn’t even fit on the character select screen.

The game has an idea of what it wants you to make before you make it. For instance, the game doesn’t really give you an option to make a fat character. It wants players to make characters like the ones in the examples. The game has a very specific plan for you, but it still gives you enough options to derail the plan. There may not be a fat slider on the character creation screen, but there are ways to make your character chunky or lumpy in some areas. The further you stray from Blade & Soul’s chosen path, the more bizarre or terrifying your creations become.

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Take the race of adorable little animal kids. What happens if you don’t want to make something cute? What if instead of a kid you decided to make a decrepit, wrinkling old crone? What if you twisted that smiling face into something sinister? As a result you get terrifying little gremlins that don’t look like they belong in this game. Or any other game for that matter.

The female characters seem to get the short end of the ugly stick they get beat over if you don’t follow Blade & Soul’s aesthetic. Every attempt to make a -for the lack of a better term- “unique” character ended in the creation of something unsettling at best and horrific at worst. It felt like ripping apart a carefully made Barbie doll and sticking on different pieces that were never meant to fit. The game so wants you to create something it thinks is beautiful that any slight variations make it seem unnatural.

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For instance, the game clearly loves big boobs. And that’s fine. But try to make a woman who isn’t a D cup and the game gets ridiculous. The postures of the models, the armor, and even the physics engine is there to accommodate the bustiest of babes. Anything smaller than melons look like floppy, sagging half-filled water balloons with ill-fitting clothing glued to them.

I can’t give a review the whole game, but as far as the character creator goes Blade & Soul is a pretty deep one that’s only really good at making a handful (or more than a handful hyuck-hyuck!) of archetypes. A good character creator guides the player and gives them many tools to achieve a wide variety of good-looking options. Blade & Soul gives plenty of tools and sliders, but those are only useful for achieving a few options.

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But if you’re like me and you don’t really want to make anything nice, then Blade & Soul’s character creator is good for many hours of absolute hilarity!

Or terror.

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SOOOOO MUCH TERROR.


If you want you can follow Zachary on Twitter @invadingduck for more terrible character pictures. Maybe he’ll play the game some day?