"Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" told the story of Eddie Valiant, former private eye. Together with a cartoon rabbit named Roger, they stop the destruction of Toon Town and the mad plot by the maniacal Doom, while also bringing both Disney and Warner Bros characters together in a way no one ever thought possible. Doom is killed, the Dip Machine is stopped, and the toons go on to celebrate over the liquified corpse of their greatest foe.

Not one of them thought to grab a mop.

All's well that ends well, right? Yea, except...

  • Toons Can Kill

That's right, we're going to tackle the big one right out of the gate. It's revealed pretty early on that Valiant's brother was killed by a toon. Sure, this time they lucked out and it managed to be the same crazy toon that later tried to commit genocide on his own kind, while simultaneously ruining the dream of 80's children everywhere.

You didn't need sleep, right?!

That's all well and good, but how many other homicidal toons are out there? Even if you don't count the two instances of attempted homicide by toons in the movie itself, it still leaves the fact that if it's possible for one toon to desire to kill humans, then it's possible for others to rise.


Why is this a big deal, you ask? Because...

  • Toons Can't Be Killed

So, say you're being threatened by a killer toon ( this is what TUT simply calls Tuesday). You've called the police, and since you don't live in Detroit, they've arrived promptly on the scene... to do, what, exactly? The film already established that before Doom's dip formula, the toons were unable to die. Shooting Terrance the Homicidal Squirrel isn't going to work. Even simply cuffing the suspect will do no good, as he or she can slip those cuffs any time it's appropriately funny. And Doom didn't seem the type to keep articulate notes on the scientific formula for his death liquid.


Not the face of a meticulous note-keeper.

So you can't kill them, and there's not a prison that can hold them for long. Segregating them into their own small town might help in the short term, but it's not going to stop the eventual toon rebellion. Did someone just ask "what rebellion"? I thought you'd never ask...


  • The Toons are Slaves

Early on in the movie, Valiant is talking with movie producer R.K. Maroon. Maroon lets on that he's borrowed Dumbo from Disney. And that, better yet, Dumbo works for peanuts.


"That's more than I pay the Korean wage slaves who animate all these for us!"- Maroon


That's not even an implication of slavery. That's a blatant declaration that these sentient, intelligent beings are considered property of their human masters. What if Dumbo had problems with working for Maroon? Too bad, elephant, get yo ass to the studio. And that's not to mention that all of these toons are forced to work in...well, cartoons. What if cartoon Batman decides to move to Chicago and protect the populace at night? I'm almost positive WB executives would not stand for one of their biggest properties quitting to save actual lives instead of making them money.

How does this lead to an uprising? These unkillable creatures possessing of both intelligence and free will are forced to live together in a small area, churning out cartoons for no pay while their masters rake in millions. Add in that at least some of them are going to have no problems with dropping a few pianos on their owners, and you have a recipe for one of the bloodiest uprisings in human history.


My god, Doom was the hero of this story all along. He was only trying to save us from our own creations.

The eyes of our savior, ladies and gentlemen.

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