It's common knowledge by now. The video game industry is out of ideas. Every summer, we get the usual pile of grayish-brown sludge to play: unimaginative third-person or first person shooters. By now we're used to it, and we don't really mind— it's just a fact of life. But it doesn't have to be.
I love action films. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jean-Claude Van Damme are two of my favorite actors, and I mean that without a hint of irony. I run a blog over at beersandbmovies.tumblr.com where I watch b-movies and express (in terrible and offensive ways) how much I love them. After I'd been writing the blog for a while, I had an idea. An idea that would save AAA gaming
Because I'm a fucking genius.
Let me start with a question. Have any of you guys played the old-school Terminator games? No? Good. They all kinda suck. Followup question: would you drop 60 dollars on a 3rd person T2 game published by Ubisoft that sees you switch characters from John Connor to the T-800 and follow the plot of the movie, with stealth sections, chase scenes, and hardcore shooter action?
If you said no, feel free to stop reading. We don't need your kind here. You make me sick. Jesus. Just leave.
If you said yes, would you be willing to pay AAA prices for games based on other 80's action flicks, like the Arnold Schwarzenegger epic Commando? Perhaps a beat-em-up based on JCVD's Bloodsport? A survival horror game following the plot of Predator? Hell, we're already making a Mad Max video game. It's definitely doable.
This is the way to save AAA gaming. The plot is already laid out for you, and so are the fans. Even if all companies did was reskin the newest Call of Duty with a sci-fi bent and call it a Terminator game, they'd be bathing in money. This is gaming's chance to do these old films justice. And it wouldn't even be that hard. Or at least, that much harder than making a Gears of War game, licensing notwithstanding.
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon proved that there's a market full of idiots like me.
We love punching things in the face. We love unrealistic explosions going off behind us as we walk away from them in slow motion. If the Xbox One had a button on its controller labeled "one-liner" that worked across every single game, it would be a day 1 purchase for me, and I'm sure other people feel the same way.
So why the hell not? Buy a license to an old franchise. Make a new Terminator game based on a movie we all know and love. Make a Die Hard game. There could be a quicktime event where you have to press X after you kill a miniboss to make sure you say "Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker".
The best plots for action video games have already been written.
Use them, you fucking idiots.
(image from tunehd.net)