I'm really feeling it!
I'm really feeling it!
Illustration for article titled The Things Will Carried: At Work

Wow, it’s been a while since I did one of these. Been really busy at work. But here we are with a couple more quick stories about Will to get us through another weekend.


The first story is one of my favorites. It involves a running joke that we have been using for nearly 10 years since it happened. It also ensures that Will is always constantly looking over his shoulder.

So during the summer before college started, Phil, Will and I hung out a lot. I was at Phil’s one day and it was getting close to lunch and we decided to go pay Will a visit because he lived like five minutes away.

We jumped in my car and drove over to his mom’s house and we could see him through the living room window (one of those big like half the wall windows) sitting in a chair watching sportscenter. So I gave him a call. He picks up the phone.

Will: “What do you want.”

Me: “Phil and I are going to lunch, wanna hang?”

Will: “Can’t, I’m at work right now.”

Me: “Will I can see you through the window.”

Will: “What?” turns around to look out the window, as soon as he sees my car his face shoots down under the window so we can’t see him anymore. “No, no, no that’s not me. I’m at work!”


Me: “So you don’t want lunch then?”

Will: “I told you I can’t I’m at work.” We see his eyes creep over the window and disappear again just as quickly.


Me: “Ok, we’re heading out, when you get done watching sportscenter if you wanna hang just give us a call.”

Will: “Maybe, but I don’t get out of work until like three.”

From now until the day I die I will never get tired of screaming, “no, no, no. That’s not me. I’m at work!”


The second story is also a favorite of mine. It involves yet another inside joke we have kept since the same summer. If you haven’t realized it yet, we have a lot of inside jokes with Mr. Will.

Unlike in the story above, we actually got Will to come hang out with us. We are driving through Portland looking for a place to eat, and possibly facebook stalking a girl Will knew from kindergarten (that is another story for another time. With video.) and is explaining to us how he doesn’t have friends.


He doesn’t like the idea of friends because that is too personal. He doesn’t like people to get too close to him. So we ask him if we are his friends.

Will: “I don’t have friends, I have acquaintances.”

Literally like 40 seconds after he says that his phone rings. He looks at us and tells us to be quite.


Will: “My best friend Tony is calling, but I don’t want to hang with him today so he can’t know I’m with you.”

Will picks up the phone and proceeds to tell his “best friend Tony” that he is in Boston and can’t do anything. We then ask Will about the whole friend thing. He informs us that it is different because it’s Tony. We then were bequeathed with the title of “Best Acquaintances.”


Enjoy your weekend everybody! I’m hitting up the Lowery Park Zoo in Tampa with my wife and roommate for my roommate’s birthday on Sunday. For once I will try to remember to bring my good Cannon Rebel camera and take some photos.

Missed a week, I’ve got you covered.


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