So the other day during a Tay Time Chat, DisturbedShadow told us to tell him a story. I told him one about a good acquaintance of mine named Will. After he got a good laugh, he said I was like the resident storyteller here on Tay, so I decided that once a week I would post a story about my man Will (or another friend of mine with good stories) and try to make you all laugh, or at least feel better about your own lives. So that is what I am here to do. Let me know which day would be best to catch the most people, because everyone should share in the greatness that is Will’s life.

The drawing above is another friend’s rendition of Will.

So I will start with the story I told DS. Here it is with a few more details added in.

Let me spin you a yarn about a man named Will.

Will was a decent friend, a little bit selfish but fun to be around. He moved into a house with two of his friends so he could live in Florida with cheap rent for a little while. He never registered his car in Florida despite living there for eightish months, and as it turns out, hadn’t registered his car in the last year and a half. So one fateful evening as he is on his way to work at 11 p.m., he gets pulled over by the police. After informing him that his car was not registered they ran his license.

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Fast forward to 3 a.m. that same night, his good friend who is sleeping and has to get up to go to work at 6 a.m. gets a phone call. A number he does not recognize. It goes ignored. He gets another phone call, same number. It goes ignored. There is a message left. Will’s friend listens...

Robotic Voice: You are receiving a call from inmate

Will’s Voice: Will

Robotic Voice: At the Lake County Sheriff’s Office.

The friend starts laughing. This particular friend had warned Will to do something about his car. Turns out Will’s license had been suspended about a year earlier because he had failed an inspection in Maine on the car and he never brought the proof of inspection to the courthouse to clear his license. So now he had been driving on a suspended license, in an unregistered car for over a year.

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After an hour of calling the police station and Will’s father who lived in Maine, the friend figured out there was no way to do anything since he wasn’t family and the cops wouldn’t let him in to see Will. The friend went back to sleep.

The friend’s last words to the police officer on the other end of the line, “can you tell Will to stop calling, I have to work tomorrow.”

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So Will’s friend goes to work the next day and immediately calls three of his and Will’s good friends at 7 a.m. to inform them of the evenings events. No one picks up at 7, but within 10 minutes all three are on the phone laughing hysterically.

Fast forward to 6 p.m. that night. Will comes bursting through the front door of his friends home.

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Friend: Will, you’re still alive, how was the night in county, anyone make you their bitch?

Will: No, I spent the whole time huddled in the corner away from everyone. One guy befriended me and said he’d look out for me.

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Friend: What was he in for?

Will: Aggravated assault.

Turns out Will made a deal with the judge, whom he only saw through a webcam type meeting, to pay his two $750 fines and they would let him out. But his phone was dead and his car was impounded, so he had to take the cab home.

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Fast forward to the next day. Will goes to the impound lot to get his car. They won’t let him drive it until it is registered. He has them tow it to his friends home, where he immediately drives it to work that day.

That is the end of my tale. I hope you enjoyed the story of the unregistered car caper.

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Will has not been arrested since, and the car was sold for scrap about a year ago... still unregistered.