So last week we met Rupert, the greatest little bunny ever. We got to see how unfair it was for the little guy to be stuck with Will.

Now comes a very tragic tale of Rupert’s demise.

Screw that, it’s too sad. Just know that it was ALL WILL’S FAULT! He will never live it down.

Anyway, more fun times instead. I have mentioned Will’s car a few times and some of the things we and he have done to it. Well today I will tell you of a night we shrink wrapped part of his car, and in a fit of rage Will made a terrible mistake.

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The story starts in the middle of Portland. Will is working at the local AA baseball affiliate of the Boston Red Sox. He is running the pitching game. The point of the game is kids or adults pay, pitch the ball twice and see how fast they threw and then throw a third time and have to guess their speed.

It was a super popular game. Well, Phil and I decided to go to the game and harass him. The tickets to the game were like 3 bucks each, so we figured it would be a good investment. Turns out we got in for free because I knew the president of the team (went to high school with his son) and as we were getting ready to walk in he happened to be on the street greeting people, saw me and let us in with a ticket to his personal box (free food and soda, it was amazing).

Anyway, fun box times aside, we make our way down to Will’s booth and we notice another of his friends has decided to harass him as well. So we team up with Tony and give Will a hard time.

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Will is rightfully annoyed with us, but doesn’t do anything too stupid. We ask him if he wants to hang out after the game. Will tells us that his car is parked at the apartment building his dad owns up the street and to meet him there after the game.

So around the sixth inning we have a brilliant idea. We ask Tony if he wants to head out to the local grocery store and split the cost of a few cases of seran wrap. He immediately agrees.

Well, being poor college students we can only buy a few of them. But we get back to Will’s car and we are able to do just the driver’s and passenger’s doors really tightly. We feel that will be enough to really annoy Will.

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He shows up after the game and we are just kind of mulling around the parking lot. He gets to his car and tries to put the keys in the slot. He fumbles around a few times. He finally realizes there is something over the slot.

He looks up and notices the seran wrap all around the two doors. He turns to look at us and we just start laughing. He gets really pissed and tries to rip some of it off. He can’t get it really well because we made it thick.

Will decides he is going to get in his car and take off with the wrap around it and we weren’t hanging out anymore. So he goes in through the back seat and gets his car started. He backs out of the driveway, and we are waving at him to stop for a minute. He stops.

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We open the back door and talk him down a little bit. But he still doesn’t want to hang out. He is going home. So we close the door and he goes to take off.

Well, he had accidentally put the car in drive instead of reverse. He drives just the driver’s side tires up the lawn and gets them stuck on a wooden separator that separates an inclining lawn from the driveway. So now his car is half on an elevated lawn and half on the lower driveway.

The person renting the place with that particular lawn comes out of the house and starts yelling at Will. The three of us calm that person down, and we all work at getting the car unstuck.

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After about ten minutes we get the car unstuck and back down to the end of the driveway. Will gets out of the car and apologizes to the guy and tells us we can meet him for a late dinner somewhere if we want to hang.

We agree and get ready to leave. Will gets back in his car and immediately drives straight back up the lawn/driveway and gets the car stuck again.

The three of us look at the renter and just say, “Go ahead, we won’t stop you this time.”

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Needless to say, Will got a nice call from his dad the next day about helping him fix up a lawn and wooden separator at that building. We never did get to have dinner that night.


If you missed a week, I’ve got you covered.

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