It is time for Part 2 of the Lauren saga! If you need Part 1, click here.
I know I said this would run earlier this week, but work calls and I am a busy person after all.
So I left you with Lauren getting ready to move in with Will. They had been dating for about six months, most of which was phone calls and online interaction. They had seen each other in person for maybe three weeks total over those six months.
The two of them think it is a perfect solution for her to move to Florida and live with Will. Now, Will had been lying about his job for this whole time. He told Lauren he had a radio station broadcaster job (it is detailed in the last installment) but that he was going to get laid off just before she moved down, so they would both need to find a job quickly.
He drives up to Maine, picks her up, and makes her drive the whole way down to Florida. Once they get to his dad’s place in Hollywood, they get everything unpacked and she immediately begins looking for a job.
Now, I have lived with Will, when he needs to find a job, he does not look for one. He does not care until his bills get piled up to the ceiling. Keep this in mind.
The experiment works well for the first week, the two are happy to be together and overlook all the problem signs that show up. Then week two gets a little rockier. Will is his typical, must watch sports and you better not bother me, self.
I mean that literally too. If you so much as speak to Will while he is watching his favorite teams, in any sport, he will either ignore you completely or yell at you for disturbing him.
This was never a problem before, because he always got Lauren off the phone in time for the game by saying he was off to work. But now that she was there, he couldn’t get rid of her.
So she is quietly stewing about this, and her birthday happens in week three. She wants to go out and do some romantic birthday things. Will is not about the romance and wants to stay in. But Will isn’t a total dick, so they go out to walk the beach and get dinner.
Well, Will also hates public displays of affection, including holding hands. Lauren wants to do this, it is her birthday, they are together, she wants some good old PDA on the beach. She goes to hold his hand and snuggle up against his arm.
Will flips out and starts screaming about how he hates PDA and it is WAAAYYY too hot to be touching each other. Lauren is not happy, but they have their dinner and go home without any other trouble.
Around this time Lauren also gets a job offer, a management position at the local sporting goods store. Will still has no job, hates going out anywhere with Lauren and treats sports better than he treats her.
Lauren also has no friends in the area. Remember she moved from Maine less than a month earlier to be with Will. She has no one else to do anything with yet, while she tries to find some girl friends of her own.
So we are into week four, and Lauren decides she is going to test Will. She waits for his precious Patriots to be playing on Sunday and she strikes. She gets completely naked and starts straddling Will on his bed while he is watching the game.
He kind of shakes her off a few times, grumbling about the game, then he lies on his stomach to make his manly bits inaccessible. She jumps up on his back and starts reaching down and around to get there. He pushes her off of him, and off the bed onto the floor and tells her to get out of the room, he is watching the game.
The next morning she hands in her resignation letter to her job, she had only worked there one week. She then goes home and tells Will she is leaving. It isn’t working out and they are over.
Will in one final attempt to keep her, gets down on his hands and knees and in his words, “I humbled myself to her.” He demonstrated this to my wife, my roommate and I later, and the way I can describe it is Will on his hands and knees pounding the floor with his fists like he is throwing a temper tantrum and screaming I’m sorry.
She says maybe she will stay. She has to think about it, but she can see he cares and she would like to be with him. She then goes to take a shower.
Will, being the magnificent dick he is, decides they just made up and it is time for some make up sex. He jumps in the shower with her.
She immediately turns around, pushes him out of the shower, kicks him out of the bathroom then locks the bathroom door. She was on an airplane the next morning.
Will is so pissed at her. He humbled himself and everything. He can’t believe she would leave after he did that. For the next two weeks Lauren tried to call Will and texted him to see how he was doing, but he refused to answer because she had disrespected him.
Lauren had really wanted Will to follow her to Maine and prove that he loved her, and she had expected him to do just that. Well, he proved she wasn’t important, so they were over.
The best part about this story, it isn’t over yet. Lauren gave him one last chance later. That will be next week’s story. I bet you can’t guess how that one ends.
Here is a video we got of Will humbling himself to my wife. That will be a story for another time. A wild story about Will, his dad’s home in Florida and a crazy coworker of mine. Also, Will does not know he is being recorded during this video. My roommate had perfectly positioned her IPad so he didn’t notice it was on and recording.
If you missed a week, I’ve got you covered.