Oh boy do I like dark souls 3! I was worried I’d hate it after having played through 1 and demons souls, thinking they were pretty flawed but fun enough. Then I played 2 and boy. That game sucks. Three is great, and a lot of that is the bosses. There are a few doozies, but for the most part they are varied and fun. Here are my top 5.

5. Oceiros, the Consumed King

This is a good boss fight because, well, it’s creepy af. I like this fight for the same reason I like Billie Eilish - it’s unsettling. The fight itself is fairly straightforward - smack a dragon dude up close, dodge his ice and curse attacks and then beware his longer range and charge in 2nd form. There’s a real mergot’s wet nurse vibe from this fight as Oceiros prattles on about his lost child while a baby cries over his speech. He seemingly crades something in his arm although there’s nothing there.

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What makes this worse is cut footage which shows he originally had a baby in his hand which he would smash during his second form transformation. I guess even Dark Souls draws the line somewhere as this was cut for the full release.

4. Curse Rotted Greatwood

This is a fun, breezy fight. It’s uncharacteristically easy while FEELING hard. The Curse Rotted Greatwood is slow and lumbering telegraphing its attacks with ample time to evade. You’re in more danger of being swarmed by little guys- chipping away your health unto death. The fight takes an unexpected turn halfway through - the floor collapses and you tumble down several hundred feet. Mostly I just liked this boss as my kid was hilariously grossed out that I had to hit the tree’s uhm... nether regions....

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3. Wolnir

Ok please don’t kill me. I’m joking.

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3. Crystal Sage

Crystal sage was the first boss where I had a hard time. His first form was a piece of cake. His second form was just ridiculous with the damage. I had to try several times and still I couldn’t defeat him. I tried throwing knives, I tried embering and summoning ...hyde? Finally with a little cheesy pyromancy and judicious use of the arena’s pillars.... dead! Finally beating him gave me that real dark souls brand feeling of #$%$ it I @#$!!#$in’ beat you! Eat %($)(* you piece of %()$(* %)(*$()%*(*)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (tm)

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2. Nameless King

Full disclosure I haven’t beaten Nameless King yet. His wyvern form is total bullshit. The camera in this portion of the fight is total garbage. Once he hops off though he becomes everything you were training for. The reason you have learned when to sidestep and when to roll. When to attack and when to back off to regain stamina. He’s a near perfect test of the skills you’ve gained in the previous 40 plus hours. It’s just a shame about that camera angle crap in his first form.

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1. Dancer

This is basically the Nameless King sans wyvern. I love everything about this fight from the design of dancer, to her moveset, to how difficult this fight can be, to her lore. It’s just an extremely solid boss all around. The music is also pretty neat and the arena’s similarity to the Vicar Amelia fight from Bloodborne didn’t hurt either.

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What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Leave your thoughts in the comments and if you feel like writing your own counter post about the REAL 5 best bosses, just compose a post, tag it tayclassic, and watch it magically appear on the front page! It’s that easy!