Thank you for everyone who entered the contest! Please vote for your favorite story in the comments below by Jan 14
Results as of 1/11 9am:
Novi: Everyone comes to visit us. We are that home that the rest of the family visits.
Long story short someone hit our neighbors house. And i think they now know more about our new neighbors than we do. Thank god every had insurance and no one got hurt. Save for that house and the jeep.
Aikage: My aunt was pretty nuts. She’d go to like the dollar store and get a bunch of garbage and then she would put numbers everyone’s seats. Then when we sat down to eat we’d pull the number out and that’d be the order that we could pick something out from under the tree.
In addition to the dollar store stuff there’d always be one or two nice things. I remember one year she had a painting done by an elephant (She was really involved with the local zoo - her funeral service was even held there she donated so much money), one year she had an LED fishing game thing that I really wanted.
Then one year there was a Furby. BUT SHE DIDNT GIVE IT OUT because she said they were going to be worth a lot of money, that she’d bought some before and sold it on EBAY for 100s of dollars.
So I went home and bought two furby - 50 dollars each. Then I went to sell them on ebay but the fad had already passed and they were worth nothing. So I opened them and voila! Now I am a Furby. Let’s eat pizza.
Armuun: Thanksgiving 2008. I was at an underground rave in west philly at night (one of the fucking scariest places on or off drugs. Seriously, go there at night, there’s no sound around whatsoever. I heard somebody sneeze, and actually heard gunfire seconds after) with friends and I was taking ecstasy in tandem with my usual copious amounts of vicodin (For reasons that escape me, I always carried my primary stash with me on rave days. Mind of an addict I guess.) Of course, I started on a bad trip, with the combination of many hits of both making me black out for minutes at a time, and dehydrating me to the point where I figured being outside would be good. The thing is, they don’t really let you out until the whole thing is done. So I stood in the doorway taking massive breaths of cold air with several others in front of the absolutely gargantuan bouncer. So, A girl not older than 15 goes up to him, and of course, he doesn’t let her leave. she does not take this lightly.she started waving her hand in front of his face, screaming about god knows what. of course, he doesn’t take this well, grabs her wrist, and breaks it like a twig. she starts screaming, and calls the police. which is something you do not do at this at this kind of thing. the problem was, they were looking for the place anyway. So within minutes, I was hearing sirens. everybody freaked, somebody ripped open my bag of vicodin, spilling it all over the floor. I grabbed as much as I could off the floor (which wasn’t much), grabbed my friends (one of which was doing something that will not be mentioned in polite company on the stage), and slipped out the back. I ran the 3 miles to the bus station, blacking out every few hundred yards in between. I barely managed to avoid both being trampled or arrested. A couple days later I’d wind up running out of vicodin and starting the detox process at work.
Quiddity: I got drunk on New Years, sang a lot of Karaoke and may have written some embarrassing things on Discord.
DisturbedShadow: Nothing too crazy, just trying to do all this holiday celebration with family while also trying to coordinate moving to our new home. The craziest thing that happened was my aunt trying to coordinate a big group Christmas photo outside in the cold and dark to get one last shot of the old house which failed spectacularly for a number of reasons, including not being able to see the house and it being too dark.
Mind If I Slytherin: I saw my cousin’s pubes while visiting relatives for Christmas dinner.
She’d recently had her first child a few years ago, and someone asked to see her C-section scar. Cousin was happy to oblige...so she dropped trough to her knees right there in the kitchen.
AxelChildOfDestiny: Just this Christmas something crazy happened. Now we were going to celebrate Christmas on the day after because it worked out better for my wife’s family. So we decided to go see Star Wars because we got some Fandango gift cards. Three amazing things happened once we got to the theater.
The first was we saw some dipshit family come in and the teenage boy (who are the worst, I was one and I know) was on one of those not hoverboard things. He was dooshing it up pretty good, and then the whole family got kicked out because not hooverboards are banned in the theater.
The second is amazing thing is probably the best. We got to the theater way too early, so we took a trip across the street to a gas station (it was Christmas everything else was closed) to get a snack and drinks for the movie. I found this.
And to top it all off, it was actually pretty good.
Then when we got out of the movie, I called my parents and my wife called her parents for the general Christmas call. Well turns out her sister (who we literally thought would live with her parents forever and was still living there with no real job and not going to school even though she is 26 years old) got engaged to some guy from Scottland. And it turns out he’s a pretty solid guy who will take good care of her and works for HP.
So it was a pretty eventful Christmas. I never in a million years would have thought I would find a Shaq Fu themed drink and it would actually be good.