So there I was, sitting upon my space loft in the middle space. "Pyramid," I say to myself, "You are looking damn fine today." I say this with wit and irony, as mirrors don't work here in the Quagsire Galaxy. I'm so ironic and creative. I really ought to buy a Macbook. People that own Apple products are inherently more witty and creative than people without. But without warning, and from the heavens, there came a bright light. Within this light, you see, was a man named Gary Dairahm. His head was entirely covered in long hair (beard and mustache too), and he was dressed in a white suit with neon yellow pants. "Pyramid," he said, "You're coming dangerously close to offending everyone in TAY." He then disappeared into a fog of burritos and Outlook e-mails that apparently didn't send but they totally did.

I took his words to heart, except I didn't, because fuck Gary. He owes me $20 for that copy of Pokemon Black 3 he "borrowed". Later that day, I travelled to the Bear Galaxy, where the Novi and Shardik quadrants intersect. Here is a handy guide on the correction pronunciation:

Anywhom, the people of Novi and the people of Shardik had long been at war. Why? Fucked if I know, they're at war. Probably over honey or something. However, I stopped this war. I said to both quadrants, through their transmission quasars, "k guise stop fighting now," and they responded with, "lol k" and they never went to war again. I am hero.

All glory to Balloon Duck.

Hail Balloon Duck.


Pay tribute to Balloon Duck.

Hold dear to your heart all-powerful Balloon Duck.


Award all Gold Medals in Sochi to Balloon Duck.

<3 Balloon Duck - Remember Always