Alright, it’s winter storm time, so what do you do? Like really do? Not games, that’s what. The power goes out and you loose that cool weapon you just found. Or lose those 9 hours of friendship time in Persona 4.

Go to the Library to grab some books

Books only need a bookmark to keep your save file. So first up we all go to the library and attempt to grab some books before the world turns into a frozen garbage filled TV dinner. I’d say grab a book you know you could sink your teeth into. Maybe a collection of short stories. You’d hate to grab like 9 books on the French and Indian war and then realize you don’t want to read about that. So keep it simple, you just need something to keep you from remembering how futile your existence is as you’re stuck in your tiny apartment all weekend. If you die nobody will find you for weeks. We just need to keep busy.

Spetsnaz has shown up at the library


You reach the library only to see soldiers repelling down the side of the building.

They’ve come for our books.

Also probably a good position in their upcoming attempt to take over a portion of our country. We’ve all seen Red Dawn, the original not the remake nobody saw, we know exactly how this will turn out. There are 2 options now: go Die Hard on this takeover and be remembered as a hero or run away into the snowy encroachment. Because you choose anything besides liquor as a snowed in activity we’re going to assume you just run away.


You run straight into wolves


Yep, they don’t know what to do with this weather so they’ve come to where the people are. Are they hungry? Are they scared? It doesn’t matter, you’re surrounded.

You could of been home by now, drinking yourself into a coma. Nope, you needed to find something to do while it snowed. Everything you ever did feels stupid now: going emo in junior high, going vampire in high school, Hobbit in college, dropping out of school. You can’t even read that well.


Then the alpha shows up, the bigger wolf. In that moment you snap, and you wrestle the wolf. He’s biting you, you’re biting him, it’s all very technical and badass. You come out on top though and devour your enemies heart.

The wolves decide to follow you now

Yes everyone who laughed, everyone who saw your troubles and didn’t care. No now it is you who will find your moment and attack.


Revenge though soon drops from your mind. Why be a villain when you could be a hero? You take your wolves back to the library and find the Spetsnaz. In a series of amazing set-piece fights you defeat the Spetsnaz, engage in a car chase while driving a tank, and save the ambassador’s family from a group of Dino’s that have travelled through a time portal.

So what do we do now?

Look the evidence of your exploits will obviously be erased from the internet, but one day your country will need you again. You know this, as you finaly relax on your couch ready to read a book your travels allowed you to procure. Some day you’ll help them again, but until then you’ve earned your vacation. Also you now have like 9 hungry wolves to feed. Oh and you have a mech now, but that’s a story for another time.