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Worse Thing About Video Games Are All The Title Screens And Selection Menus

Illustration for article titled Worse Thing About Video Games Are All The Title Screens And Selection Menus

Do you know what's worse than a nuclear blast and a toxic waste spill combined? Title screens and selection menus.


Rockstar, Naughty Dog, all games by EA, everything Valve, the total releases of Bioware, Origin, and everyone else for that matter: you’re all guilty of this.

The problem with title screens is that they never, ever end. When you turn on your console, you're greeted with a title screen instead of the game. After you get through it, five more pop up. Every company that even farted in the game’s general direction has a title screen.There goes a minute and a half you'll never get back.


Then the game itself has a title screen.

Developers, what are you doing!? Now, eventually you do plan to have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? We’re dying.


Guess what else never stops? Menu selections. You select one label and a drop down emerges. You select another, and a new screen pops up with three other selections. Select a new game and bam! Another menu pops up to name your character or configure buttons. Let’s not forget to adjust your display settings!

Come on, developers! Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly. Think! You're murdering us.


I don’t make games for a living (You do.) so I can’t believe I have to spell this out for you: for the love of God, stop it. Try squirreling your title screens away in some selection menu out of sight. Then, put these menu selections on the console’s dashboard where menu selections belong!

That way, when we press START to play your game, we'll actually play it.

Track my Twitter behavior on Twitter @marshnaylor

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